As women, we have heard all the stories about “the change” as something to dread; the inevitable day when menopause finally comes for us. But, change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In my experience, it has always led to growth. This change is no different.

I’ve approached this transitional time as a way to step up my health and fitness game, staying active, and educating myself on natural supplements that help ease symptoms. Spending time outdoors connecting with nature and talking with girlfriends about what we are all experiencing has been therapeutic to me, and bringing a gratitude practice into my daily life has also been a way to stay centered during this time when emotions can be all over the place. There is power in taking control of our self-care, educating ourselves, and dispelling the myths that surround this subject.

Here to help separate fact from fiction, is Dr. Leslie Meserve, my guest contributor for July. Dr. Meserve is the chief medical officer and founder of Framework Health in Newport Beach, California. She is on a mission to modernize menopause and has written this straight-shooting article for The Glow Girl about some of the myths surrounding menopause, to help us separate fact from fiction!

6 Myths About Menopause—and the Truth About ‘The Change’

When we get our first periods, we have at least an inkling of what’s happening. With pregnancy, we pore over books and discuss every detail with our mothers, our friends, and our doctors. But when that first hot flash arrives, it often comes as a shock that the bodies we thought we knew so well have another thing or two to reveal.

How is it possible that so many of us are so unprepared for menopause, a natural and important stage of life? Even as talk of periods and postpartum struggles become more mainstream, it remains stubbornly taboo. Don’t believe me? Bring up menopause at work and watch people look down at their laps or stare off into space.

Treating menopause as unmentionable is a form of body-shaming; it’s time to change the conversation. There are 50 million menopausal women in the U.S. (with gorgeous, healthy icons such as Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, and Selma Hayek among them). These women are thriving examples of the fact that our old ways of thinking about midlife need a makeover.

That menopause is in any way embarrassing is the first myth I want to dispel. Here are five more.

Dispelling Myths

Myth: Only old women have menopause symptoms—women in their 40s are too young to have hot flashes.

Truth: Menopause is the one-year anniversary of your last period, and for U.S. women the average age is 51. In rare cases, a 40-year-old will experience a natural menopause. What’s more likely, however, is for a woman to spend much of her 40s in a transitional state known as perimenopause. It’s been described as the journey toward ovarian retirement, and it can last as long as eight years. This phase can be a rollercoaster of irregular periods, the aforementioned hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, insomnia, and more. Rising and falling estrogen levels are to blame. Some women describe perimenopause as a living hell, while others barely notice their symptoms. Every woman is unique—so are her hormones—but early 40s is definitely not too soon to start feeling the effects of perimenopause.

Myth: Menopause is natural, so we should just grin and bear it.

Truth: Yes, menopause is natural. But, no, in 2020 you shouldn’t have to grin and bear anything that feels even close to a living hell. And you don’t need to apologize for wanting to feel healthy and vibrant in the decades after your period stops. One hundred years ago, the average life expectancy of a woman in the United States was 54.6. The average age of menopause back then was 49.5, which means a woman didn’t much outlive her ovaries. Today the average life expectancy for women in the United States is 81.1. That gives many of us three decades to become even more fully and joyfully ourselves—and we want and deserve happy, healthy bodies in which to do that.

Myth: Menopause equals the end of sex—or at least fun sex.

Truth: Falling hormones can mean less interest in sex, and menopause symptoms like hot flashes, anxiety, sleeplessness, and weight gain can leave a lady feeling less like a goddess and more like a heap of garbage. More bad news: Falling estrogen also leads to a reduction in blood flow to the vagina, which in turn leads to vaginal atrophy—yes, it’s a real thing and it’s about as fun as it sounds. But while “down there” menopause symptoms (such as dryness, burning, itching, and painful sex) are completely normal, they don’t have to be inevitable. You are not crazy, you are not alone, and there are evidence-based solutions that can be game-changers in the bedroom and beyond.

Myth: Menopause means weight gain, and there's nothing you can do about that.

Truth: Holding everything else constant, women typically gain 5 pounds during the menopausal transition. That’s not a function so much of menopause as other factors associated with aging (less activity being a big one). However, a decline in estrogen is associated with an increase in total body fat, especially around the middle, as weight often redistributes from other parts of the body to the belly. This type of fat is particularly problematic because it increases the risk of diabetes and metabolic disturbances. The good news? Several studies have shown that hormone therapy reduces abdominal weight gain and helps prevent that fat migration, which has positive health benefits and may help women feel more like themselves, too.

Myth: Your doctor will know how to help you.

Truth: Ideally. Hopefully. But, unfortunately, this is often not the case. Most general practitioners have only a cursory understanding of women’s midlife health needs, and only about 20% of OB/GYNs have received specialized training in women’s midlife health. As a result, three in four women who go to their doctors for relief from menopause symptoms either don’t get the help they want or are given curt answers and sometimes even misinformation. That’s not acceptable, and that’s where a menopause specialist can help. Specially trained to guide women through their 40s, 50s, and beyond, a doctor who is a menopause specialist lives and breathes the most up-to-date findings and can give you the information you need to take charge of your symptoms.Nothing in life happens easily for women—with menopause care, as with everything, we have to make it happen.

If you’re in California and interested in learning more about how a menopause specialist can help you, go to Framework Health where you can book a complimentary telehealth appointment with Dr. Meserve herself to discuss your symptoms and learn more about what treatment options might be right for you.

If you’re outside of California or prefer a face-to-face visit, the North American Menopause Society can direct you to a Certified Menopause Practitioner in your area.

About Dr. Leslie Meserve

Dr. Leslie Meserve is the founder of Framework Health, a Newport Beach-based medical practice focused on personalized preventive care and healthy aging.

She is board certified in internal medicine, a North American Menopause Society-certified menopause practitioner, and a member of the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine. She focuses her medical practice on the study and practice of healthy aging, using modalities and theories from Western Medicine, Functional Medicine and Integrative Medicine in her personalized treatment plans.

Dr. Meserve is passionate about helping patients optimize their health and increase overall vitality and committed to lifelong learning in the burgeoning field of anti-aging.

Shop Melissa’s fave menopause feel-good product picks!