I hope you are all enjoying the summer—it seems to fly by every year! I remember when I lived in New York and every September I would get a pit in my stomach because it signified the start of a very busy time with a cold winter around the corner. Moving to Los Angeles helped me solve the dreaded winters of the East Coast, but my work ethic and pace remain the same.
Read moreMindfulness and Practical Life Skills- Tips for Getting Through the Current Covid-19 Climate and Beyond, by Erin Lotz and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny
Photo Credit: Kelly Fogel. SHIFT Mind, Body, Soul Wellness Retreat, Four Seasons Maui.
During this stressful time with the Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve found myself clinging to my mindfulness and gratitude practices more than ever. Perhaps it’s because these two things help me to pause and better choose how to approach the many things that are out of my control at the moment. When I think of the word mindfulness, common suggestions such as being more present, focusing on one thing at a time, and taking time to meditate come to mind. But in conversation with my friend and Psychotherapist, Erin Lotz, I also realize mindfulness isn’t just about these things, it’s also about validation, acceptance, and sitting with any opposing feelings we may be experiencing.
I met Erin at the Shift Mind Body Soul retreat last September, where she taught a fascinating workshop and gave us some tools to help improve our overall mental health. Erin and her co-founder, Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny, run a psychotherapy treatment center, Westside DBT, with two locations in the Los Angeles area. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) combines both cognitive-behavioral therapy and mindfulness approaches that help people understand, accept, and change patterns of living that cause distress.
This month, I'm pleased to welcome this guest contributor duo to my platform. Read on to see how Erin Lotz and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny take us down a path less traveled when it comes to sharing a different way to look at mindfulness and some great suggestions on how to apply this practice.
Photo Credit: Kelly Fogel shot at the SHIFT Mind, Body, Soul Wellness Retreat. Pictured above Nicole Fogel, Erin Lotz, Peter Crone, moi, Lauren Roxburgh and Janet Gunn.
For several years, the concept of mindfulness has been researched, discussed, and promoted in many different areas. Healthcare workers, mental health clinicians, nutritionists, and others have sought to implement mindfulness in their work with their clients. Mindfulness retreats have become coveted events all over the world. What was once a buzz word, is now widely used in several different fields. However, with this emergence, mindfulness can sometimes feel more complicated than it is and perhaps unnecessarily confusing.
Now, in 2020, the entire world is facing a physical and mental health pandemic, Covid-19. Regardless of where you are in your acceptance of this enormous life challenge, mindfulness is the most relevant practice that can get us through these times. Jon Kabat–Zinn defines mindfulness as, “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, and in the present moment taking a nonjudgmental stance.” That’s it. Think about that elegant simplicity. The emphasis is “on purpose” as opposed to being on “auto-pilot”. This simplicity allows for individuals to embrace mindfulness anywhere and anytime. It can be simple, practical, and helpful.
A friend once asked, “Why would I want to pay attention all the time? Who wants to do that? I’m good with the way things are. Besides, life kind of sucks sometimes.” Many of you must be thinking that right now and, to be completely honest, our friend has a good point. Nevertheless, the other side of this dialectical dilemma is that when we pay attention on purpose, we allow ourselves to increase the quality of our lives. Also, we get to take hold of how we create and respond to whatever is right in front of us, whether it causes us joy or pain. We become the drivers in our own life, allowing us to metaphorically take hold of the wheel and steer. Choosing to ignore our realities can cause more suffering than confronting them. Paying attention to our internal and external experiences empowers us to make an actual choice.
As clinicians using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we hold the philosophical stance of dialectics. A dialect is two opposing forces both being true at the same time. An example of this is the concept of acceptance and change. We can accept life on life’s terms and our current circumstances but also want things to change at the same time. Dialectical dilemmas and tensions are what we experience when we are pulled in the two opposing directions. This can feel very distressing at times, however, it is actually a very natural and common phenomenon that most individuals experience but do not talk about. It is not good or bad, black or white, happy or sad. It is both at the same time. If we do not acknowledge the dialectical dilemmas that we face daily it results in our living in the extremes and failing to find a cohesive synthesis. Through mindfulness, we can observe these opposing forces and try to purposefully walk the middle path between the two. Doing so without imposing judgment, personal interpretations, and opinions is also helpful.
During this pandemic, a common dialectical dilemma that we have been observing is wanting to live our lives as normally as possible while having to accept the new shelter at home guidelines that are keeping us physically distant from our loved ones. Both of these ideas are true and both can be held at the same time. This can cause an immense amount of stress and research illustrates how stress or anxiety affects our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone and an increase in cortisol levels can, in turn, compromise our immune system.
There is no doubt that we are all feeling a sense of heightened uncertainty specific to the COVID-19 pandemic. Likely, most of us have now gone into survival mode which is a natural instinct that is meant to be temporary. Living our lives to simply survive is not living. So, how do we shift from survival to living? The answer is mindfulness.
Here are a few suggestions that can help in your own mindfulness practice.
Pay attention to how you are talking to yourself and others about COVID-19. How we talk to ourselves affects how we feel and how we behave. You can empower yourself and stay mentally healthy by reframing distressing thoughts to embrace a sense of calm and not spiral into catastrophic fear or panic.
When we are practicing Mindfulness, we become curious, nonjudgmental observers on purpose. We notice and put words to our experience. “I’m noticing fear. I’m noticing that I am focusing on my negative self-talk.” Our worry thoughts can be intrusive but when we learn to pay attention deliberately, we become more aware of how our thinking is affecting us. We can hit pause and “take hold” of our mind as opposed to allowing our mind to take control of us. When you are feeling anxious, stressed, or fearful ask yourself “is this thought helping or hindering me?” If it is a hindrance then practice reframing the thought.
Think of a more adaptive thought, even if you do not fully believe it. Acting “as if” often helps change your cognitive process.
Validation is another effective strategy. It creates a sense of safety and belonging. When we practice validation, we acknowledge that our internal experience makes sense. It makes sense that most people are feeling unsettled and wanting to gain a sense of control right now. Identifying that it is normal to feel this way and understanding that we are not alone are helpful self-validation strategies.
Radical Acceptance is another DBT skill that relates to mindfulness. This is acknowledging our reality instead of wishing it was different. When we practice radical acceptance, it is important to know that accepting our reality does NOT mean we must agree and approve of it. It is simply reminding yourself that it is happening. We can only move forward and change when we accept what is.
Radical acceptance allows us to live with our eyes wide open, not live in the dark or in denial. Suffering is the non-acceptance of pain. In essence, suffering becomes optional and when we acknowledge what is happening we become empowered to do something about it.
As we move through this time as a community, remember mindfulness is a skill that needs to be practiced daily. You can do it with awareness. When we exercise this skill, we are choosing to calm our central nervous system and keep our immune system strong. We can create new neural pathways in the brain and increase the quality of life.
As each of us practices common mindfulness suggestions that we frequently hear and read about, we also encourage you to consider practicing validation, radical acceptance, and dialectical thinking strategies.
Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny and Erin Lotz co-founded Westside DBT, a comprehensive dialectical behavior therapy outpatient clinic in August 2010. They were intensively trained as a team, through Behavioral Tech, and have extensive experience in the field of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), with a combined 27 years experience.
Sasha and Erin currently treat families, adolescents, and adults in West LA and Studio City locations along with a team of 16 therapists. They have provided clinical training for the UCLA psychiatry residents for the past four years and are also trained in the newest application of DBT; launching a novel program to bring DBT to children between the ages of 6 and 12, as well as their families.
Sasha, a USC graduate, received her training from Harbor UCLA, a DMH facility in Torrance, California. She currently specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy and DBT, working with adults and family members. Sasha lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 6-year-old son. She also has two step-daughters in college.
Erin Lotz is a USC graduate as well, holding a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work. She was first introduced to DBT while providing psychotherapy at Optimist Youth Homes, working with adjudicated youth and she participated in her first two-day DBT training with Marsha Linehan in 2000, the founder and creator of DBT. When Erin worked at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences, she helped integrate DBT into Thalains’ Dual Diagnosis and Adult Intensive Outpatient programs, while training the psychiatry residents and clinicians. Erin currently resides in Pacific Palisades with her partner, son, and two dogs.
Erin Lotz, LCSW and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny, LCSW
Co-Founders of Westside DBT
West LA and Studio City
www.westsidedbt.com
SHOP Recommended Reads and Wellness Products Below!
The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
SHOP The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer
Peace is Every Step- The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh
SHOP My Favorite Wellness Products Below!
My Skincare Routine and the Clean Products I'm Currently Obsessed With
During these quarantine days, I’ve been paying more attention to my skin and overall self-care. This is the perfect time to improve your existing skincare regime, create new habits, and switch up your product game a bit. So, I thought I’d share some non-toxic faves that I use during the week for cleansing, masking, and moisturizing my way to healthy glowy skin!
Click the items in the carousel below to shop
CLEANSING
Honey Belle Organic Makeup Remover
This antioxidant-rich, organic make up remover performs like no other and the texture and smell are incredible. It’s made from only three ingredients…cold-pressed sweet almond oil, calming lavender essential oil, and anti-inflammatory vitamin E. It even removes the most stubborn of waterproof mascaras.
Pai Light Work Rosehip Cleansing Oil & Pai Camellia and Rose Gentle Hydrating Cleanser
I have adopted the Korean skincare technique of double-cleansing my skin and I’m obsessed with these two cleansers by Pai. The hydrating oil cleanser is made with rosehip oil and is perfect for sensitive skin. After oil cleansing with a muslin cloth, I follow up with the Pai Camellia and Rose Gentle Hydrating Cleanser. These cleansers are packed with antioxidants and will leave you with the cleanest, moist skin. I’ve tried many cleansers and Pai definitely gets The Glow Girl clean beauty award in this category!
The GOOPGLOW Microderm Instant Glow Exfoliator
This is a cult favorite from the GOOP line and it works SO well to deeply exfoliate the skin without irritation. In just three minutes, you can see immediate benefits that mimic professional, in-office microdermabrasion. It’s formulated with Vitamin C rich Australian Kakadu Plum, and Glycolic Acid which accelerates cell turnover. Micro-exfoliating minerals help minimize signs of sun damage and leave skin feeling smooth with a more even texture. I use this product a few times a week.
Reflekt 1 Daily Exfoliating Face Wash
The Reflekt 1 Daily Exfoliating Face Wash employs hyaluronic acid to lock in moisture. In combination with vegetable collagen and Vitamin B5, this formula not only plumps the skin but also works to reduce fine lines and wrinkles. I like to switch off my cleansers and use this one for a deep clean.
MASKING
Chok Chok Skin Bio-cellulose Hydrating Face Mask
It’s easy to throw a sheet face mask on while doing emails or chores around the house! This newly launched one by Chok Chok Skin is a favorite of mine as it contains 18+ bioactive anti-aging and extremely hydrating ingredients used in traditional Korean medicine. I love how my skin feels after leaving it on for 15 minutes!
Wander Beauty Baggage Claim Gold Eye Masks
To target dark circles, I rely on these golden beauties! I’ve been using them in the morning while having breakfast and preparing for Zoom meetings. They are a quick and easy fix, leaving the area around my eyes noticeably brighter within minutes!
Summer Fridays Jetlag Mask also helps wake up my skin when it looks tired from reduced sleep quality or other stress factors. It contains numerous vitamins, anti-inflammatory antioxidants, and ceramides to hydrate and even skin tone.
MOISTURIZING
These creams are in my rotation.
The Tata Harper Rejuvenating Serum 2.0
This multi-tasking product tackles early signs of aging while plumping and smoothing the skin. Its botanical, youth-preserving formula incorporates natural neuropeptides which increase collagen production, along with hyaluronic acid for hydration.
Indie Lee Squalane Facial Cream
Another one of my staples is Indie Lee’s Squalane Facial Cream. Rich in Rosehip Seed Oil, this cream protects the skin from damaging environmental stressors, while squalane and hyaluronic acid work together to plump and hydrate. I typically use this cream in the daytime due to its protective antioxidants.
This cult product is not only hydrating but also seals skin to help lock in hydration for 24 hours. It contains Dr. Sturm’s special anti-aging ingredients, Purslane, a strong anti-inflammatory, and Skullcap, to help foster increased cell turnover and skin renewal.
Eighteen B Hydrate + Restore Rich Cream
I am a big fan of the entire product line from clean skincare newcomer Eighteen B. All of their formulas contain a unique polypeptide B-SILK™ Protein, clinically proven to increase skin firmness and elasticity. Using this deeply nourishing cream regularly, I have noticed a big improvement in my overall skin texture.
Eighteen B Defend + Nourish Eye Cream
The skin around your eyes is 10 times thinner than the rest of your facial skin, which is why signs of aging are typically noticed in this area first. Eighteen B’s Defend + Nourish Eye Cream, which also contains their signature B-silk™ Protein, provides an extra layer of protection for my eyes by strengthening the skin barrier, keeping hydration in and external irritants out. This is seriously my fave eye cream—try it for yourself to see what makes it so special!
AYR Skincare Pure Moisture Nourishing Face Cream
This is a must for mature skin! A combination of powerful anti-aging peptides and nourishing skin probiotics, it noticeably reduced the appearance of some fine laughter lines on my upper cheekbones. It also hydrates skin for up to 72 hours, so I don’t even need to apply it every day.
Olie x Melissa Meyers Golden Ray Glow Drops
You already know how much I love the formula of our new multi-tasking face oil! Using this product regularly changes the texture of my skin to make it feel super velvety and smooth. Plus, it contains hero ingredient French Marine Algae, scientifically proven to build collagen, moisturize, and retain hydration for visible skin improvements. It easily absorbs into the skin, leaving it with a glowy, healthy complexion. I find it to be the perfect product to get my skin Zoom-meeting ready!
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
I typically work my face oil and creams into my skin with a massaging tool. This helps the product penetrate and activate facial blood flow more effectively than just using my hands. I have a few I like to use; each works slightly differently.
One of my newer obsessions is the Wildling Empress Stone, which is made from bain stone, known to contain more than 40 healing minerals. I use it to sculpt both my face and neck area. The toothlike design of this tool allows it to better grasp onto the skin and move effectively. Perfect to use when massaging in your favorite face oil!
BeautyBio Contouring + De-Puffing Rose Quartz Roller
This special tool is hand-made from 100% pure, Brazilian rose quartz. It is double-ended, with a larger stone for the forehead and decollate, and a smaller one for more sensitive areas like the eye region. Not just for massaging in my face creams and oils, I even use this roller over makeup throughout the day when I’m trying to relax my facial muscles in-between meetings.
By now, we are all starting to long for the day when we can schedule our next professional face treatment! The Nurse Jamie Instant UpLift tool, used for in-office uplift and facial-firming treatments, can also be used at home! This tool contains a rotating head covered in tourmaline stones. Gently press it into the skin and roll it along the jawline from ear to ear, continuing to move upward to improve tone and texture.
Use this stay-at-home and WFH time wisely and make every day a great skin day! I hope you give some of my current go-to products a try, and I would love to hear what you think of them too. Happy to answer all your questions, so reach out to me in the comments below or DM me on Instagram!
xxMelissa