In honor on Mental Health Awareness month, I thought it would be a good time to share my top 10 tips on how I (mostly) manage day to day stress. I’ve spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out ways to diffuse feelings of being overwhelmed and out of control from the daily stresses of work and life, and have found that a combination of lifestyle techniques mixed with a cocktail of daily supplements are extremely helpful.
Read moreCasual Dress Trends I Love + Favorite Black Dress Designers to Shop
These past few weeks will definitely go down in history. And, as I continue to educate myself in doing better, I am committed to the on-going support of black businesses, in the lifestyle category, on my platform. So, instead of only sharing my favorite dress trends, I want to also highlight some amazing black women dress designers to shop and support from my growing Hot List as well. I also added a selection of dresses from Target to include their collaborations with Cushnie, Lisa Marie Fernandez, Love Shack Fancy, and more. (Scroll down).
As summer progresses, it looks like we may be able to start responsibly socializing (hopefully in small get-togethers, six feet apart, with masks on). I think it’s a good time to break out of our sweats and leggings to make way for cute dresses - a refreshing and welcome change to our recent springtime, stay-at-home looks.
In my latest monthly feature for Who What Wear, We're in Our 50s and Think These 9 Casual Dress Trends Work for Everyone, Janet Gunn, The Grateful Gardenia, and I shared a few favorites that will have you looking forward to getting dressed again. Read on to check out the styles I am currently loving.
Floral
Nothing says springtime like a pretty floral print.
White
A white dress always looks clean and fresh.
Flowy
I love wearing loose-fitting dresses with beautiful prints for an easy beach to lunch summer style.
Long dresses
Midi/Maxi/Kaftan
It’s easy to go with the flow when wearing a chic boho style. Reminiscent of a beachside vacation in a foreign land, we love to wear these dresses all summer long.
Ramy Brook is a talented designer who has always been extremely charitable and is offering a new initiative on her website to help our healthcare heroes.
You can purchase a gift here for our brave and heroic healthcare professionals that will be sent to them from the registry. In addition, Ramy Brook will be gifting 1,000 items to them. 20% of all proceeds will be donated to two charities, No Kid Hungry and Jumpstart, who have been feeding, educating, and caring for our most vulnerable children during this pandemic.
Gift Healthcare Heroes with Ramy Brook’s Healthcare Heroes Registry!
Slip Dress
The perfect dress to slip into when the temps start to climb. Throw on with a sneaker to run around town or with a cute sandal.
Short and flirty
Whether worn with a flat or a heel, a short dress always screams flirty and fun!
Below is a list of some favorite black designers to put on your radar. Click on the links directly to shop.
“Eat well, travel often and dress to inspire,” Fe Noel's design motto definitely speaks to me! Heavily influenced by her Caribbean heritage, she is known for her feminine designs, simple silhouettes, and quality fabrics. Another thing I love about this dress designer… she aims to mentor and empower other women to start their own businesses through her Fe Noel Foundation for young girls who are passionate about entrepreneurship.
Best known for her ready-to-wear styles, her new capsule collection collaborates with artists from her hometown of Detroit and uses ethically-sourced materials in unique prints. Gentle on the earth and fashion-forward in style. So many cute summer finds in this collection!
Island Tribe is a brand where boho and beach style collide! This California-based fashion house practices social good and fair trade with a mission to better the environment with sustainable designs. Their dresses are right on trend with summer’s laid back, free-spirit vibes, and are inspired by peace, love, and blessings. Who couldn’t use more of those three things these days!
An artisan-driven brand focused on sustainability, lemlem is made in Africa and is the inspiration of Supermodel Liya Kebede. Elevating the artisans and expanding jobs across Africa, the designs of her handwoven dresses are perfect to add to your summertime wish list.
Founded in Oakland, California in 2007 by Sherri McMullen, McMullen is a delightfully curated concept shop featuring luxury womenswear by emerging and established designers from around the world. They have a selection of dresses that will take you anywhere from cocktail hour to summer bbq. I love that they support design and manufacturing that can impact communities and empower women with a mission to specifically support African and African-American apparel and home décor designers.
This luxury ready-to-wear brand was established in 2008 and is known for its sophisticated and modern femininity. Their dresses are sleek, minimal and designed to enhance the contour of a woman’s body. While most of their dresses are more suited for cocktail or red-carpet, they are now bringing their timeless designs to Target with a limited-edition dress collection.
If you’re looking for great affordable summer dress options, check out Target's Who What Wear collection, as well as their limited-edition collection featuring acclaimed designers like LoveShackFancy, Cushnie, and Lisa Marie Hernandez...just in time for summer!
Click on the images in the carousel below to shop more of favorite dress styles and designers.
Now available at Target!
I hope you've found some fun, feminine dress styles you're excited to try, as well as discovered a few new designers you may want to add to your closet this season. Be well!
xx Melissa
Mindfulness and Practical Life Skills- Tips for Getting Through the Current Covid-19 Climate and Beyond, by Erin Lotz and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny
During this stressful time with the Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve found myself clinging to my mindfulness and gratitude practices more than ever. Perhaps it’s because these two things help me to pause and better choose how to approach the many things that are out of my control at the moment. When I think of the word mindfulness, common suggestions such as being more present, focusing on one thing at a time, and taking time to meditate come to mind. But in conversation with my friend and Psychotherapist, Erin Lotz, I also realize mindfulness isn’t just about these things, it’s also about validation, acceptance, and sitting with any opposing feelings we may be experiencing.
I met Erin at the Shift Mind Body Soul retreat last September, where she taught a fascinating workshop and gave us some tools to help improve our overall mental health. Erin and her co-founder, Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny, run a psychotherapy treatment center, Westside DBT, with two locations in the Los Angeles area. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) combines both cognitive-behavioral therapy and mindfulness approaches that help people understand, accept, and change patterns of living that cause distress.
This month, I'm pleased to welcome this guest contributor duo to my platform. Read on to see how Erin Lotz and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny take us down a path less traveled when it comes to sharing a different way to look at mindfulness and some great suggestions on how to apply this practice.
For several years, the concept of mindfulness has been researched, discussed, and promoted in many different areas. Healthcare workers, mental health clinicians, nutritionists, and others have sought to implement mindfulness in their work with their clients. Mindfulness retreats have become coveted events all over the world. What was once a buzz word, is now widely used in several different fields. However, with this emergence, mindfulness can sometimes feel more complicated than it is and perhaps unnecessarily confusing.
Now, in 2020, the entire world is facing a physical and mental health pandemic, Covid-19. Regardless of where you are in your acceptance of this enormous life challenge, mindfulness is the most relevant practice that can get us through these times. Jon Kabat–Zinn defines mindfulness as, “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, and in the present moment taking a nonjudgmental stance.” That’s it. Think about that elegant simplicity. The emphasis is “on purpose” as opposed to being on “auto-pilot”. This simplicity allows for individuals to embrace mindfulness anywhere and anytime. It can be simple, practical, and helpful.
A friend once asked, “Why would I want to pay attention all the time? Who wants to do that? I’m good with the way things are. Besides, life kind of sucks sometimes.” Many of you must be thinking that right now and, to be completely honest, our friend has a good point. Nevertheless, the other side of this dialectical dilemma is that when we pay attention on purpose, we allow ourselves to increase the quality of our lives. Also, we get to take hold of how we create and respond to whatever is right in front of us, whether it causes us joy or pain. We become the drivers in our own life, allowing us to metaphorically take hold of the wheel and steer. Choosing to ignore our realities can cause more suffering than confronting them. Paying attention to our internal and external experiences empowers us to make an actual choice.
As clinicians using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we hold the philosophical stance of dialectics. A dialect is two opposing forces both being true at the same time. An example of this is the concept of acceptance and change. We can accept life on life’s terms and our current circumstances but also want things to change at the same time. Dialectical dilemmas and tensions are what we experience when we are pulled in the two opposing directions. This can feel very distressing at times, however, it is actually a very natural and common phenomenon that most individuals experience but do not talk about. It is not good or bad, black or white, happy or sad. It is both at the same time. If we do not acknowledge the dialectical dilemmas that we face daily it results in our living in the extremes and failing to find a cohesive synthesis. Through mindfulness, we can observe these opposing forces and try to purposefully walk the middle path between the two. Doing so without imposing judgment, personal interpretations, and opinions is also helpful.
During this pandemic, a common dialectical dilemma that we have been observing is wanting to live our lives as normally as possible while having to accept the new shelter at home guidelines that are keeping us physically distant from our loved ones. Both of these ideas are true and both can be held at the same time. This can cause an immense amount of stress and research illustrates how stress or anxiety affects our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone and an increase in cortisol levels can, in turn, compromise our immune system.
There is no doubt that we are all feeling a sense of heightened uncertainty specific to the COVID-19 pandemic. Likely, most of us have now gone into survival mode which is a natural instinct that is meant to be temporary. Living our lives to simply survive is not living. So, how do we shift from survival to living? The answer is mindfulness.
Here are a few suggestions that can help in your own mindfulness practice.
Pay attention to how you are talking to yourself and others about COVID-19. How we talk to ourselves affects how we feel and how we behave. You can empower yourself and stay mentally healthy by reframing distressing thoughts to embrace a sense of calm and not spiral into catastrophic fear or panic.
When we are practicing Mindfulness, we become curious, nonjudgmental observers on purpose. We notice and put words to our experience. “I’m noticing fear. I’m noticing that I am focusing on my negative self-talk.” Our worry thoughts can be intrusive but when we learn to pay attention deliberately, we become more aware of how our thinking is affecting us. We can hit pause and “take hold” of our mind as opposed to allowing our mind to take control of us. When you are feeling anxious, stressed, or fearful ask yourself “is this thought helping or hindering me?” If it is a hindrance then practice reframing the thought.
Think of a more adaptive thought, even if you do not fully believe it. Acting “as if” often helps change your cognitive process.
Validation is another effective strategy. It creates a sense of safety and belonging. When we practice validation, we acknowledge that our internal experience makes sense. It makes sense that most people are feeling unsettled and wanting to gain a sense of control right now. Identifying that it is normal to feel this way and understanding that we are not alone are helpful self-validation strategies.
Radical Acceptance is another DBT skill that relates to mindfulness. This is acknowledging our reality instead of wishing it was different. When we practice radical acceptance, it is important to know that accepting our reality does NOT mean we must agree and approve of it. It is simply reminding yourself that it is happening. We can only move forward and change when we accept what is.
Radical acceptance allows us to live with our eyes wide open, not live in the dark or in denial. Suffering is the non-acceptance of pain. In essence, suffering becomes optional and when we acknowledge what is happening we become empowered to do something about it.
As we move through this time as a community, remember mindfulness is a skill that needs to be practiced daily. You can do it with awareness. When we exercise this skill, we are choosing to calm our central nervous system and keep our immune system strong. We can create new neural pathways in the brain and increase the quality of life.
As each of us practices common mindfulness suggestions that we frequently hear and read about, we also encourage you to consider practicing validation, radical acceptance, and dialectical thinking strategies.
Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny and Erin Lotz co-founded Westside DBT, a comprehensive dialectical behavior therapy outpatient clinic in August 2010. They were intensively trained as a team, through Behavioral Tech, and have extensive experience in the field of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), with a combined 27 years experience.
Sasha and Erin currently treat families, adolescents, and adults in West LA and Studio City locations along with a team of 16 therapists. They have provided clinical training for the UCLA psychiatry residents for the past four years and are also trained in the newest application of DBT; launching a novel program to bring DBT to children between the ages of 6 and 12, as well as their families.
Sasha, a USC graduate, received her training from Harbor UCLA, a DMH facility in Torrance, California. She currently specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy and DBT, working with adults and family members. Sasha lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 6-year-old son. She also has two step-daughters in college.
Erin Lotz is a USC graduate as well, holding a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work. She was first introduced to DBT while providing psychotherapy at Optimist Youth Homes, working with adjudicated youth and she participated in her first two-day DBT training with Marsha Linehan in 2000, the founder and creator of DBT. When Erin worked at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences, she helped integrate DBT into Thalains’ Dual Diagnosis and Adult Intensive Outpatient programs, while training the psychiatry residents and clinicians. Erin currently resides in Pacific Palisades with her partner, son, and two dogs.
Erin Lotz, LCSW and Sasha Ginsburg-Krasny, LCSW
Co-Founders of Westside DBT
West LA and Studio City
www.westsidedbt.com
SHOP Recommended Reads and Wellness Products Below!
The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer
Peace is Every Step- The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh
SHOP My Favorite Wellness Products Below!